Thursday, October 25, 2007

Crocs linked with Larry Craig scandal, plus Amber Roberson strikes back

According to THIS clip from the Daily Show, "If [someone is] wearing Crocs, they are soliciting incredibly depraved gay sex." The Daily Show is America's finest news source. You take it up with them.

And here is a photograph of a hero wearing an IHATECROCS shirt.

Moving on.

The first thing I do after waking up in the morning is I check my email. This is just what I do. I check my email constantly. Compulsively. And I recently got an iPod Touch, which makes all that even easier. Now, I can check my email while waiting for the bus, presuming there is unprotected WiFi somewhere nearby and usually, there is. Anyway, it is awesome.

Today, we got an email from Amber Roberson. Her subject line was "yup, it's me again" and so I searched her name my email archive to figure out who exactly she was and why I was expected to remember her. Apparently she sent us the following messages a while back:
T1: Amber Roberson, tree-hugger

I think you gives are pretty dumb. You are NEVER going to, in a MILLION years, stop the Crocs craze. Sure there ugly. THEY LOOK LIKE CLOWN SHOES!!! But they are comfortable. And they can withstand a good hosedown. AND they are fungus-resistant. And anyone dumb enough to wear them on an escalator will pay the price. THIS SITE IS A WASTE OF TIME, EFFORT, AND INTERNET SPACE!!!! you should be ashamed, sapping people for their money. FOR YOURSELVE!!!!!!Go donate to Greenpeace. In the meantime, I think I will go hug a tree. You probably won't post this, but if you do, I just know you will make fun of me. BAH HUMBUG ON YOU!!!!

T1: Amber Roberson, registered Tree-hugger

I hear you hate Crocs,huh?
WELL, I HATE YOU WITH A PASSION THAT BURNS THROUGH MY SOUL, WISHING TO KILL YOU ALL!!!! you freaks. You will never stop Crocs. Sure, they can be dangerous. Sure they're ugly. But apparantly 6MILLION+ people don't care. they are comfortable. They are washable. They are fungus resistant. Well, I AM YOU!!! RESISTANT. YOU ARE FIGHTING A LOST CAUSE!!!!
YOU MONEY hogging bimbos!!! GO DONATE TO A REAL CAUSE!!! while you do that, i will go hug a tree.

T1: Amber R. , registered tree-hugger and promoter of Greenpeace

you guys are insane. Just who do you think you are? You hurt me. I am now tired of looking at the address. I have decided to block you guys of my computer list. Oh, yep, it's me again!!!! Amber R.
After figuring out who she was, I got excited for her next crazy nonsensical rant. The following is what she sent us after a silence that lasted months.
Oh, yes- it's me. The grammar-freak. The tree-hugger. Back for more. WHY can you useless people use the time the dear Lord has given you? WHY can't you go volunteer at an animal shelter? NO. Instead, you devote your lives to scamming people, making fun of FOOTWEAR. Sure, they are ugly. But wouldn't you be better off doing something that ISN'T completely worthless? You should be ASHAMED. But no. You go on, smiling. Throwing them into blenders. Cutting them. Yawn. Goodness. YOU MAKE ME SICK. Thank you for BOTHERING to read this. This is the last time I will waste my precious time on earth trying to convince TOTAL NUT JOBS to stop. My tirade is over. Oh, and P.S.- even if you tried to contact me, this is my JUNK EMAIL. Go do the world a favor and see a psychiatrist. And, it might surprise you to learn my age, which is why I won't tell you. Wonder Forevermore!

UN-Cordially Yours,
Amber Roberson, Tree-hugger
She's such a wacky character. Her atrocious English has gotten better. I hope she didn't strain herself too much. She'll be sorely missed. Assuming she doesn't forget to take her meds again and emails us again with another crazy tirade in a couple months. Also, in case you wondered, we rarely respond to emails, positive or otherwise. The volume is such that it would exceeds the amount of time I'm willing to set aside for this website. An email has to be pretty substantive to warrant response. Amber has yet to be replied to.

I also find it curious that she thinks my interest will be piqued by her saying she won't tell me her age. Why in God's name would I care? I scarcely care to know the ages of my closest friends. Why would I want to know the age of some crazy stranger who I hope never to meet in real life because I doubt I could stand the overwhelming stench of cat urine I imagine she is steeped in? We wish Amber the best in her future pursuits.


Jenny said...

she seems a bit wacky

Anonymous said...

It's quite a feat for her to call you a money grubbing whore, when she's the one paying for a plastic pair of 'shoes' that cost less than $1.50 to make in China nonetheless.

Isabela said...

She won't tell you her age, because once you know, you'll die of laughter for her lack of maturity. Most people in Greenpeace are whack jobs.
Doesn't she know as a tree-hugger that Crocs end up in landfills after they've been used (what is their lifespan, 3, 4 weeks, maybe?)? She's looking for a fight...But she isn't tough in person as she is over the internet, I bet.
Kudos to you, and Crocs are evil

Anonymous said...

So I guess you know what every shoe in the world is made of. And I guess you know the lifespan of every shoe to. So what is the life span of leather shoes? What about tree huggers. Mmmm...I guess the cow, deer, or any other animal that is killed to make a leather shoe dosen't matter. What about Nike which is made out of rubber plastic and foam. They end up in a landfill as well. What about plastic bottles? They can be recycled, but millions end up in landfills every day. Its not the job of companys to force people to recycle. There are hundreds of products that can be recycled, including Croc shoes, its up to the public to recyle those products.

Anonymous said...

Kate and Vincenzo,
I'm sorry you guys get e-mails like that! You are truly doing God's work with this website. I think it's funny how these haters think your entire life is devoted to this blog. Certainly, eliminating Crocs is an important part of any sane person's life, but you two obviously have outside lives and interests. Anyway, I stand with you in the fight against Crocs and keep up this awesome site!
And I'm 18, becuase I know you were wondering...

Anonymous said...

Any sane person? Now thats funny. You should just say any pot smokeing person that would make more sense.

Anonymous said...

It's not complicated for me.

I love comfy shoes, and I'm all for it...but why the heck are they so expensive...And I just don't see the aesthetic appeal.

I guess it's cute on some little kids and families and whatnot.

But just personally, I would never wear crocs...
They're not worth it.

And not to insult, but I think everything revolving the shoe is ridiculous...the hatred, the fanaticism, the defensiveness, and even the fact that there are fan/hater sides on a SHOE...

This goes to both fans and haters who have openly hated on each other,
why spread more hate?
You can hate/love the shoe, but why personally attack the fans or haters?

Don't want to sound preachy or whatever, but dude.

Anonymous said...

Haha Whatevah. Fuck crocs

Anonymous said...

I think it is awesome that she labeled herself a grammar freak and then HYPHENATED it! ha!

Jonathan S said...

"...the overwhelming stench of cat urine I imagine she is steeped in..."

Vincenzo, you are a genius!

SalulaidSolarte said...

Hello, I like crocs, no love involved. My English is also atrocious but I appreciate your capability to detect incorrect, despicable reasoning. I also like your site, no love involved, and enjoy reading it. As a result, why to criticize the hate for crocs when one is unable to refrain from hating someone`s thoughts is not that just the very same thing? If so, then the fact that a person hates crocs is very fine. at least it is ok for me, unconvinced by the detractors but happy to exchange intelligent views with them. Be good, and try Texan cowboy-style boots, they look nasty and smell gross but maybe you will get inspired to start another blog.

Anonymous said...

Post another entry already! SHEESH!

Anonymous said...

Well, I [and many other people as well] think that Crocs are ugly. I don't care how comfortable they are. When you wear Crocs, you look like a dumbass.

And in some areas, like mine, wearing Crocs is equivalent to committing social suicide. [Not that anyone with a social life would ever buy a pair of those damn ugly shoes anyway.]

vikkitikkitavi said...

Every time someone puts on a pair of Crocs, an angel dies.

Anonymous said...

I love Crocs, and your site rocks. I also heard about Crocs being bullies to your "evil twin" site - now

I did send crocs an email about how I'm rather pissed at them. Doubt it will do any good.

Hannah said...

Dear Lord - and she thinks YOU TWO have nothing better to do with your time?!

At least you two have time to check spelling and grammar and not sound quite so fanatical about your cause...

NathanfromArkansas said...

I love this site so much! It made me laugh when I found it. Sounds like SHE needs the psychiatrist. She takes this site too seriously... she thinks you guys devote your life to hating crocs. Sure, that IS crazy. But you guys don't. And Crocs being comfortable is the lamest excuse of all... beauty is pain. Who cares if they're comfortable. Social life or comfortable feet? :) That's a hard one.

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