crocs story from zach and wisdom teeth

Hi everyone.

I got my wisdom teeth out this morning. It was interesting! I spent most of my morning pretty drugged up. Want to see the text messages I sent Kate right after the surgery? Yes you do!

"Done. I was axxajjk tge whole tgme."

"Iwedfeel weaqp. Gt 's so"

"My mouth is edul ofblood. I feddl good. I takej to everybeey."

I have absolutely no idea what the second text message means. Not a single clue. Anyway, I'm no longer drugged out of my mind, because they didn't give me a prescription for the good stuff, just ibuprofen. Lame. Although it does make the spaces where teeth used to be less painful. For this, I am thankful.

Zach sent in a crocs story for us! Check it out:

So, I am heading south on New Ballas Road, trying to make a left onto Ladue. I am first in a left-turning red light. It is 2:30pm on a Tuesday, and I am waiting for this light to turn green, so I can get to the office. I hate waiting. All Israelis...Boom...do. What the heck was that? I hear a noise, a bang, and am quite shaken. Could someone just hit me from behind? Shit... I go out of the car, and a guy walks out of his car. He is in his mid-forties, greyish hair, sloppy dress, total mess in his 2-door silver Mercedes. Several large cups of Lion's Den (or whatever that fast food chain is called) are sitting in the passenger seat on a pile of lots and lots of paper. I wonder what is in these cups...

The guy apologizes for hitting me. Apparently, this is a new car, and he says that he is not used to the breaks. The Green crocs he is so proudly wearing, i think to myself, do not press the pedal well. I truly feel bad for him. I ask him to pull aside into a driveway on Ladue so we can talk this out. We get there and I look down to check my bumper. Despite the flashes from his lime-green crocs I see that my bumper is cracked. He, again, apologizes. He tells me his name and asks me that we settle it without involving the insurance company.

"You have kids?" he asks.
"No, I do not.".
"My four-year-old took my wallet. You know, they do these things when they are that age."

I recall all the wallets I took from my parents when I was four. Those were some days. My brother used to do that when he was a kid, too.

"Anyway, I do not have my license or my insurance information. I am willing to pay you $100 for the damages right now."
"$100 is not going to cover this damage." I immediately reply.

This is definitely one of those what-to-do moments. My students are familiar with those, in a different context of course.

"You know, the dealer is just up the street. Let's go there and get an estimate for the damage." I reply.
"Well, I have a meeting at 3pm. I'd hate to miss it." he says.
"You will have to miss it, man, I have some meetings myself, and it does not look i will make them either."

So, he agrees, shakes my hand, telling me how great I am. How the heck did he figure it out, I ponder.

Off we go. I take a quick glance at his license plate, get into my car, and write it down. Two minutes later, we are approaching the dealership. He is behind me, and I am watching so that he will not bump into me again. I signal to make a left into the dealership. And....off he goes, turning to the right lane, and getting away!!!! Wow, now i gotta think fast. I immediately think that you do not mess with the Zohan.

So, I switch to the right lane, carefully, making sure I do not hit the other cars. It is quite heavy traffic and I see him turning right onto Olive. I am after him, dialing 911 on my cell phone. Luckily, I have a blue-tooth enabled phone. Gosh, I love gadgets. My Garmin GPS is not yet working. It is sitting in its box in the trunk, unopened, as I have just received it the day before, but did not have time to activate yet.

The runaway man presses his lime-green-croced foot onto the pedal and drives away. "I am in a chase, yay!", I think. But immediately have to calm myself and think what to do next.

"Creve Coeur Poilce Department. If you are in a car chase after a green- croced-man, do not press anything, just speak"
"Hi, I am on Olive, driving east, and I am chasing a car that hit me earlier and is now running away. His license plate is YYY-111" (Unfortunately, I cannot reveal this information)"
"Ok, stay calm, I am on the case. What is the cross-street?"
"Craig Road"
"OK, stay behind..."
"He is turning right on Graeser. I am behind him"
"Ok. it looks like he is going home. Park your car and wait for the officers to get there"

I do as I am told. In the meantime, I lose him. Two minutes later, the officers get there. 3 cars. One of them stays with me. The other two, I assume, go to look for the green-croced man. I tell my officer the entire story, and about 10 minutes later he says:
"They have the guy. They want you to join me in my car and do a drive-by so that you could identify the person."

Wow, me in a police car. That is a first.

"Sure, I will join you."

I have to sit in the back, because a police volunteer is sitting in the front. "Buckle up."
"Oh, right.."
So, I am in a police car now, heading south.

"So, what were some distinctive features of the person?" The officer asks.
"He was white, mid-forties, grey hair, little belly, and he had neon-green crocs on."

The car is turning right. It is a well-to-do subdivision, full of trees. And there is an aurora in the horizon. A green shade lights up the sky. Two police cars are parked in the distance. It seems that the green shade is emanating from the ground, the driveway. Oh, right. It is the green crocs, and there is that man in them!!! He is trying to walk straight to the orders of the officer who is standing next to him. He is very shaking, poor guy. I did not know that the material from this gross plastic can quickly impact one's mental demeanor.

"That's him" I tell the officer.
"How do you know?"
"Well, can't you see? the green Aurora...the little smiling alligator, that annoying two-position buckle that you can place either to the front of your foot or pressed against the back of it? That's him!!!"

"We have a positive ID." The officer says in the walkie-talkie to the other officer.
"The green crocs?" The other officer replies.
"Oh, yeah, they did another one in".

There you have it.