heelys, solution and norway

I don't know about you guys, but in addition to hating Crocs, I also hate those shoes that have wheels in them. They're called Heelys and I am always seeing children rolling around in them. I, of course, turn to my children (Xerxes, Zooey and Violet) and tell them firmly that just as they will never wear a pair of Crocs, their feet shall never been tainted by the horrors of a Heely, either. Each of them nod in turn and then I buy them each a small toy of their choosing from the local toy shoppe.

Anyway, back on topic, Kate pulled the following off the ticker tape machine:

Hey fellow croc-haters.

This is Andrew from Cape Town, South Africa. Sadly the terrible demise of brain capacity is beginning here as well. Alas the dreaded crocs have begun the infestation of my beautiful country, all is lost. The once beautiful vistas of Cape Town are now ruined by hundreds of revolting, coloured and nauseating excuses for footwear. The rot must be stopped, if the crocs have reached even here then there is, I guess, not much hope left for humanity. I always thought that Africa would be spared this plague, however it seems there is now one more addition to this continent’s long list of problems: war, death, famine, pestilence and the croc.

Let us not despair too much; the anti-croc resistance has started here now too. I have come up with the final solution. We must be strong and merciless, none can stand in the way of this blessed crusade. All of us haters of the croc must cleanse the streets of this multi-coloured plague. All wearers of the croc must be rounded up, forced to hand over their footwear and sent to remote reeducation camps where their degenerate attitudes can be changed to more normal and socially responsible ones. The offensive footwear must be treated in a similar manner of nuclear waste (they probably have a longer effective half life than plutonium anyway) that is, they should be encased in concrete and either recycled to more useful applications like pencil erasers or buried underground so that no one can look upon their kind again. The inventors of the croc must be sent to the world court to stand for crimes against humanity. We must protect future generations from this scourge. Tomorrow will thank us.

Thanks for all the hard work and long hours spend creating this much needed forum against crocs in all their bestial and hideous forms.

Remember, we here at IHATECROCS don't condone or endorse any final solutions. We believe in peaceful negotiations and protest.

We also have gotten word that Crocs have been banned from a hospital in Norway. Or, rather, that is what the person who emailed us the link said. We can't actually read the article, as we do not speak Norwegian. However, many of you who visit our site are from Norway, so chances are that you will be able to enjoy this article as we cannot.

It is HERE.

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