Thursday, July 19, 2007

End-of-the-week SCARES!

Good evening, morning or afternoon, soldiers. Did you just click to this page? Have you just arrived? If you're like me and the first thing you look at when a site loads is the shiny pictures, I'm sorry. I'll try and help you clean up. I didn't mean to induce all that vomiting, but I've gotten so much mail lately about the only foot fashion crime that can even come close to Crocs, I had to show it. You understand, don't you? You forgive me? Baby?



I hear your cries. I hear your screams and wails. You say, "why, Kate? Why would you show us that? Our fragile eyes have been already so battered by Crocs! Why this? Why now? Don't you know about my heart condition?" I'm so sorry, I forget sometimes. You understand how it is.

We've all done it, I know. Maybe while on vacation, maybe during a particularly disorienting life change, maybe in the long-forgotten summers of our youth, playing hide-and-go-seek in the apple orchards by the vicarage. I'm speaking of course of the Socks and Sandals phenomenon, which is also the lesser known Eighth Deadly Sin. Like many of the other sins, at one point or another, we've committed it. We acknowledge it, we live with the distant memory of it, but we try oh so very hard to forget it ever happened. Socks and Sandals, you've been mentioned, and you are almost as bad as Socks and Crocs, the more popular Ninth Deadly Sin. Now we can let you rest.

Speaking of...

[In case of weak stomach, pregnancy, heart conditions (I know!), loose grip of sanity or insomnia, turn away now!]

...

...



KEEP IT DOWN THE NEIGHBORS CAN HEAR YOU SCREAMING! It's going to be okay! Hush now! They can't hurt you, they're in the computer. Hey? Baby? Everything's gonna be alright. Rockabye.

ADDENDUM:

Celebrities wearing Crocs. Scream! Cry! Rosie O'Donnell! They're all synonyms!

...Anyway, champions of glory, I'm a huge dork and Harry Potter comes out tomorrow night so I probably won't be posting tomorrow or Saturday unless I come up for air. You're all glorious. Don't you forget it.

17 comments:

Sam Duke said...

That was the most glorious thing I have ever read.

Anonymous said...

Rock on sister!

Kristen S. said...

I was just logging into AOL.com when I noticed a headline about celebs wearing crocs. I then proceeded to gag and opened the link.
As the page loaded I noticed a little blue link that said IHateCrocs.com and began to rejoice!
And now I have found myself here in celebration.

THANK YOU!
I have no idea how I have never found you before.

Once again, THANK YOU!
And good night.

P.S. Enjoy Harry Potter (:

Laura said...

OMG - I feel so safe here. My sister and I have hated these damned shoes since they first touched feet. Eeeeeek! And to top it off with a mutual disdain for men with sock and sandals (seriously, what IS the point there? Put regular shoes on OR get a pedicure and take the socks off!!!) Anyway, your blog is like a little slice of heaven in a society strangely obsessed with ugly, colored, plastic shoes.

Keep on melting those ugly, hideous Crocs, sister! You won't find any of those near MY feet.

Gloria said...

You have to admit, they have a certain facination.... especially if you really like the real thing (I work in a zoo, really!). Also, you have to admit they aren't any uglier than those leather things on someone's feet as this site opens. Please don't tell me you think those are any more fashion conscious than crocs! Not that I own any crocs myself (although I do have a couple of skulls, a few teeth, and some skin). Tried a pair on once but they didn't feel comfortable right off the bat so I didn't buy them. Now, however, I am hoping that my river sandals are buried deep in the trailer because we are leaving early in the morning on a camping trip and I need them to wear, with socks by the way, in those awful campground showers. Yes, I said socks. I have to wear the socks to keep the sandals from rubbing sores on my toes. Only good things about the sandals is they keep my bare feet of those dirty shower floors, and I can wear them and still drag my feet in the water as we go out into the ocean on zodiacs. You know zodiacs... like the Navy seals are famous for. Only I'm not a Navy seal. I go looking for whales and such.

Anonymous said...

i can't believe they made a website..blog..thingie for crocs. But most importantly i can't believe they didn't to that sooner! Like when they first came out into the public. I mean you seriously need to shield your eyes from those electrifying yellow crocs, sorry Rosie but there is no excuse for wearing those hideous things even if you are out of a job and we all know you put that on yourself.
Anyways the main reason for commenting this(besides that fact that you hate crocs too)is because I am an Harry Potter fanatic and to tell you that you are not alone! And that when i get my copy and probably going to barricade myself in my room for the next two days. :) Oh and where the HELL did you get that picture!! I mean did someone just take it to torture people!!! Or is some color blind fool trying to start a fashion show starring Crocs. Oh god, if that happenes then the world as seriously gone INSANE! And I'm moving to France.

I support everything you are doing, and keep writing even if someone tells you wrong(Rosie!) Someone needs to put an end to this Crocs fiasco. People have been blind about this problem long enough(probably from looking at Crocs). KEEP WRITING WITH YOUR STYLE! and you're going on my favorites list :)

FranniMarie
(I don't have a blogger name yet)

Val said...

http://www.sheepinthecity.prettypos
ies.com/archives/SocksCrocs.jpg

Children, it is indeed possible to laugh and gag simultaneously.

Anonymous said...

Yes, "Rosie O'Donnell" truly is a synonym for "scream" and "cry," especially in crocs.

--Allen in Austin

Anonymous said...

Okay so theyre the ugliest thing on the planet and everyone looks like theyre mini dinosaurs buuuut.....theyre so comfortable its ridiculous.I bought a pair and I literally found myself wearing them while resting on the couch - I was totally unaware I had anything on my feet! Theyre ugly though but how much worse are they than comfort shoes?!
Starting this site is so sharp! Great idea, because we all have a thoughts on these alien pairs of footwear that have taken the country by storm.

Anonymous said...

Oh wow!!!!there's a i hate crocs store!!! i love it!! i jst posted before baout wearing them and finding them comfy etc. etc. but i love this stuff!! wow this is beyond creative and the writing is so hysterical i was laughing myself silly. So the person who runs this is in college? bet at the top of her writing class. Wow im in college too and im impressed with this i hate crocs mini mogul! wow so original they should feature you in all the magazines etc etc

Anonymous said...

like omg these are totally the fugliest ever how dare those peeps wear that stuff.....

No, I am not the "teenish" or "twenty-something" person at the beginning of this post. I am a lot older, wear crocs, and love them. And I have to mention the most important part of my post: I don't give two shits about what you, or anyone else for that matter, think about my footwear.

Anonymous said...

in the last book of harry dont die ,,,his friends do ..........

Anonymous said...

I never ever worn socks and sandals OR crocs in my entire life! I am so proud of myself!

Anonymous said...

i mean, the picture of president bush in crocs WITH socks speaks volumes of just how fucking terrible these excuse for shoes are

Cátia said...

Ohhh god! I thought I was starting a panic atack:P

I'm Portuguese and here, we receive a lot of english tourists and well, when springd stars also start these visions of socks and sandals... they use it all the time!

I need my pills now:P

Antoine said...

OMG but my crocs are only comfy with socks. O/w my feet get sweaty in them. I used to wear sandals with socks but now I wear crocs with socks. And I love it. And I'm Canadian.

Anonymous said...

Ugh. My brother is guilty of Socks and Sandals. He says he does it because feet are ugly, and he wants to keep them covered. Apparently he fails to understand the purposes of sandals, or of socks, or how combining the two tends to defeat the purpose of both.

If he doesn't like people to see his feet, why doesn't he just wear his sneakers?