Look! Look at all that proper footwear! It warms the heart.
Also warming my cold, cold heart is Jessica, who forwarded us the most horrifying Crocs testimonial I've ever seen, read or heard. If you wear Crocs, my good people, this is the type you are associating with:
"I love my crocs !! I have 5 pairs of the original beach style. Recently my employer told me i couldnt wear them anymore because they do not have backs!!I wanted to cry i went online found the islanders bought them and i love them even more if thats possible !! As soon as i can afford to buy the islanders in every color i will !! I cannot take them off my feet they are truly the most comfortable shoe i have ever worn!!!THEY ARE MORE THAN WORTH THE BONE OF CONTENTION WITH MY EMPLOYER. I am a 16 year veteran employee with the home depot and i cant believe my shoes have caused such controversy!!!!THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU"
That was sent into the actual company. This is not a parody.
NOW YOU TRULY KNOW FEAR. Also, the term 'bone of contention,' which I'll admit to never before hearing.
Stay vigilant, my darlings. We might be in the New York Times tomorrow.