Good evening, morning or afternoon, soldiers. Did you just click to this page? Have you just arrived? If you're like me and the first thing you look at when a site loads is the shiny pictures, I'm sorry. I'll try and help you clean up. I didn't mean to induce all that vomiting, but I've gotten so much mail lately about the only foot fashion crime that can even come close to Crocs, I had to show it. You understand, don't you? You forgive me? Baby?
I hear your cries. I hear your screams and wails. You say, "why, Kate? Why would you show us that? Our fragile eyes have been already so battered by Crocs! Why this? Why now? Don't you know about my heart condition?" I'm so sorry, I forget sometimes. You understand how it is.
We've all done it, I know. Maybe while on vacation, maybe during a particularly disorienting life change, maybe in the long-forgotten summers of our youth, playing hide-and-go-seek in the apple orchards by the vicarage. I'm speaking of course of the Socks and Sandals phenomenon, which is also the lesser known Eighth Deadly Sin. Like many of the other sins, at one point or another, we've committed it. We acknowledge it, we live with the distant memory of it, but we try oh so very hard to forget it ever happened. Socks and Sandals, you've been mentioned, and you are almost as bad as Socks and Crocs, the more popular Ninth Deadly Sin. Now we can let you rest.
[In case of weak stomach, pregnancy, heart conditions (I know!), loose grip of sanity or insomnia, turn away now!]
KEEP IT DOWN THE NEIGHBORS CAN HEAR YOU SCREAMING! It's going to be okay! Hush now! They can't hurt you, they're in the computer. Hey? Baby? Everything's gonna be alright. Rockabye.
ADDENDUM:Celebrities wearing Crocs.
Scream! Cry! Rosie O'Donnell! They're all synonyms!
...Anyway, champions of glory, I'm a huge dork and Harry Potter comes out tomorrow night
so I probably won't be posting tomorrow or Saturday unless I come up for air. You're all glorious. Don't you forget it.