Wednesday, July 25, 2007

From the cavern of illness

Greetings and well-wishings to you all. I hope you're feeling fine. At the moment, though it may be of little interest, I have a bad case of streptococcal pharyngitis. I am bedridden! Woebegone! Steeped in tragedy, as it were. Unfortunately, my condition is made no better by this atrocity:

I may not be an expert when it comes to biblical studies, but I'm fairly sure that this ad rather accurately represents the four horsemen of the apocalypse. If I can remember correctly, they are War (as Skechers fights for a piece of the Crocs pie... oh, get that taste out of my mouth), Pestilence (Crocs themselves, by definition), Famine (Ashlee Simpson), and Death (of Skecher's credibility, no doubt). Fear is upon me like never before.

There are just... No words. Who doesn't want to be seen wearing marble pink plastic mary-jane wannabes with little Shrek ornaments? The height of cool! I think I even see velcro! How chic!

...I'm going back to bed where it's safe.


Anonymous said...

Hey! first of all there called cali gear and ya that pic of cali gear sucks
but there are some that actually look good unlike crocs all of them are ugly

Anonymous said...

Hello again everyone! Two days ago I went to a shoe store; it have fairly fashionable shoes and very good prices. I'm sorry to say that I even bought some sneakers there! But my view of the store changed when there they were; a whole rack of silver, gold, black, bronze (all of them a sick version of it) crocs! "Oh no!" I moaned to my mother. "What is it?" She asked, thinking it was one of my many stomach pains. "Crocs." I whispered, and pointed to them. She nodded, as if in understanding. I'm sorry to say I even tried them on. But come on people, they feel the same as any other shoe; but uglier! Get a pair of slippers or something; they're comfy and look better.
Signed, Onion Hater

Anonymous said...

Those plastic things are called cali gear and plus you know some pairs look real good and its just that picture you posted is ugly there plenty good looking ones!! But crocs are always ugly no matta what!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I hate Crocs, I don't understand why gardening shoes are in.. even to the celebrities..

it's plastic, with bright colors. It's not something you want to show people =/

Anonymous said...

What is your deal you nuts! Crocs are comfortable...I can't believe you dedicate an entire blog to this...nuts!

Anonymous said...

I just came across your website from an AOL news article on celebrities wearing Crocs. While looking through a majority of the comments people have left on your site, I have found that the majority of the people supporting Crocs have absolutely no sense of the English language whatsoever. Where do people pick up this type of grammar? While in defense of a subject you feel is being attacked, at least sound intelligent when submitting your argument.

One of my co-workers wears Crocs to work and the first thing I though was, "Why is she wearing gardening shoes in a dentists' office?". Duh, because her and about 1 million people out there feel that trends are worth looking like an idiot for.

Keep up the good work Kate!

Anonymous said...

I work in a hospital and a lot of the nurses wear Crocs. I tried them on -- once -- and they seemed to swell up twice as big as my foot. Long live Candies!

eudora said...

This is terrible. The Croc lovers are uniting on Facebook and they want a million reasons to love Crocs. One reason is to drive Croc haters crazy. (Seriously, these people have no logic.)

Stop the madness! SOMEONE!!

Anonymous said...

this site is crazily hilarious! thanks for taking the time standing up for people who find this piece of plastic foot covering revolting. i wasn't even aware of its existence till my mother-in-law got me a black one last week... she actually got it for herself but said it wouldnt fit so handed it down to me instead. she must really hate me that much! and to think she paid $30 for it! and yesterday a friend from the philippines asked me if i could purchase for him a pair of crocs... #@$%&*^! coz he said it's a craze in the country, some wanna-be's even spend half their salary just to get a pair of this plastic footwear and he would die to get his hands on one. a pair sells P1500-P3200 and a common day laborer earns P6000/month, a phenomenon i find crazy. i definitely wouldnt be caught wearing this *@$&)%^#!

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Hey Morons,

Crocs aren't plastic, they're foam.
And the picture shown isn't a Croc. It's a Skecher, a rip off wanna be Croc, same as AirWalk rip off wanna be Crocs.

Long live Crocs!

Anonymous said...

the only thing that EVER in the slightest made me consider crocs [unbelivable i know]

was you could get johnny depp gibbits or whatever they are called lol..even then i was cringing[yet i love my jd just not on such ugly things]

so i changed my mind and got the garden sheers aren't cha proud?? mahwua .

signed .
anonymous nova scotian loving this site

Unknown said...

I do sincerely hope that this is not supposed to imply that people in California are expected to be seen walking around in these.

Because really, the only people I ever see wearing Crocs or any of the knock-offs are the tourists who visit the park where I work.

Anonymous said...

Dear Lauren,

The next time you feel the need to criticise other's grammar, it might be a wise thing to check your own. It's "SHE and about 1 million other people" not "HER and about 1 million other people." tsk, tsk

I love my Crocs, and more importantly, my feet love my Crocs! What a crock this blog is.

Matt Gio said...

Crocs Rule! Get over it. Funny site though :-)

15 Reasons Why Croc Shoes Are Awesome

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