Wednesday, May 30, 2007

I Hate Crocs mentioned in Maclean's magazine

Very few things cause my eyes to widen and subsequently my monocle to drop and subsequently my brandy to be expelled from my mouth violently, but these three things happened in quick succession very recently. But what could elicit these alarming responses?

In the library, yesterday, Kate was reading through issues of all of the latest major newsmagazines, whilst I sat amidst the books with authors whose surnames began with M and flipped through a copy of Life of Pi, which is quite a nice little book and the best Canadian novel I've read. Kate, truly out of character, broke the silence and solitude of the library with the great bellow, "HEY HEY HEY OUR SITE IS IN MACLEAN'S!" Naturally my monocle fell to the ground and was followed by showers of brandy.

I started and stumbled and scampered toward Kate and she pointed to a paragraph on page 42 that said:

In addition to the hospital bans, there are other signs of a Crocs backlash. has made its mission "eliminating Crocs and those who think that their excuses for wearing them are viable." A recent post stresses the impending resurgence of summertime Crocs: "Like cockroaches crawling out from beneath the ruin of the apocalypse, Crocs are back." Videos on YouTube demonstrate similar disdain for the shoes.

We here at I HATE CROCS DOT COM are very pleased to have been mentioned in such a lovely publication. Maclean's is like Canada's equivalent of Time magazine, for those of you not in the know. Readers of Maclean's, thank you for visiting us. Please email us with your crepe recipes! In Canada, crepes are the new ice cream. You can't get ice cream anymore. It is all about crepes, now. Our three children, Violet, Xerxes and Zooey cry and cry for the crepes long into the night, their shrieking reverberating through the halls. Sleep does not come easy. The crepes are so delicious.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

We apologize in advance to the legitimately unstable.

Hello again, vigilantes. I'd like to (or rather, feel that I must) share with you a recent horrifying experience. Vincenzo and I, on our way home from the Groceries Shoppe, sat to wait for the bus (our horse-drawn carriage was in the Mechanic's Shoppe). It was a fine day and the sun was shining as we sat with bags of nourishment, until she came along.

A woman, altogether frightening and loud, came to us and decided that we wanted to talk to her. She wandered about feverishly. She babbled incoherently. In short, she was at least somewhat unstable. We couldn't figure out what to do until we saw her feet:

It was true. It was awful. It was real. It was trapped next to us in a four-foot glass cube. This foam-footed crazy was upon us and we were blinded with fear and rage for at least seven minutes. Luckily, the bus came and, upon realizing that she did not want to take the bus, she wandered away. Did she know? Was she sent?

All we know is... It's getting to their minds. We can only hope that in removing her shoes, she can some day regain her sanity.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Time to clear out the old email box

Well, the emails have been piling up. Ticker tapes spills out all over the floor, snaking this way and that. We can scarcely find the beginning of the tape in the confusion. Thus, I think it is a good idea for me to post some emails.

Firstly, our good friend Kai sent us a link to article about Crocs being banned in Sweden. HERE it is.

Secondly, we got an email from our other close, personal friend, McKinley Gillespie:

Hi, I'm a student from Auburn University and I've recently adopted our chapter of the Facebook group, "Just Say No To Crocs." I've put a link to your website in the "Homepage" section, because I think that what you're doing is wonderful. A dangerous notion seems to be spreading; people are beginning to think that Crocs are fading away. What they don't realize is that summer is just around the corner, marking the one-year anniversary of the Croc Regime's dramatic and unexpected rise -- who's to say that in one month's time they won't be recklessly roaming the streets of our nation once more? Those hideous things blew up (though unfortunately not literally) last summer, and my keen instincts tell me that they're going to do it again. Revolutionaries like us need to work together to keep the word spreading. Che Guevara; Nelson Mandela; the Dalai Lama; Rosa Parks; the Google Guys; none of them were afraid to be remarkable or to instill a profound change upon the face of the world. One day, we'll go down in history with them. In the great words of that wise Ancient Grecian, Aesop, "United we stand; divided we fall. Oh, and fuck Crocs."

Thirdly, from my best friend, Megan Ashcraft:

Y'all do realize you're just giving Crocs free word-of-mouth advertising right? Anything that creates a buzz about their product will eventually end up benefiting them. From what I have read on your blog, I have seen no convincing reasons not to purchase a pair of Crocs. In fact, knowing that somewhere out there, my purchase is irking the hell out of some uptight person who thinks they have a right to dictate what I wear, actually makes me want to buy them more. You know, the whole foods store around the corner from me sells these things. I think I'll go buy a pair right now.

Fourthly, from my four wives and brother, Alex, Ana, Elana, Lindsay and Robert:

I recently discovered your site and I must say what you do is a veritable social service. You should recieve federal funding for educating the public. Anyway, Oberlin College is located in Oberlin Ohio, just outside of Cleveland. It is a hotbed for radical leftist politics, gender neutral bathrooms, streaking, veganism...and crocs. Now that the sun is out, so are the crocs. So some of my friends and I went crocs hunting this weekend! I have attached a sampling of the Oberlin crocs.
And lastly, our adopted child, Jesse Tarlton made us this picture in Illustrator:

Thursday, May 10, 2007

I Hate Crocs Dot Com in the news

I was recently interviewed for an article on Crocs and it ran in the St. Petersburg Times today. It has a strong anti-Crocs slant!


You know them. You love them. Or, you hate them with a passion that burns from the darkest corner of your soul.

"They offend our eyes and bamboozle our friends," said Vincenzo Ravina, a 19-year-old from Nova Scotia who started the Web site with his girlfriend. "Croc-wearers are kind of like cultists."


Ravina, whose Web site includes footage of a solemn Croc burning in a field, doesn't buy the comfort line.

"Bathrobes are comfortable. I don't wear my bathrobe to the grocery store. And on a really hot day, you don't see me running around with no clothes on at all, though I'm sure that would be comfortable. Crocs are the same thing."

CLICK HERE for the full article!

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Crocs are dangerous

Kate and I, we try to stay on the lighter side of things. We hate Crocs, as you may know, and cutting them up and blowing them up with fireworks are things that we find funny. The hatemail we get is funny. But you know what is not funny? People getting their feet chewed up by escalators as a result of Crocs.

I've recently come across this blog that was tracking media mention of Croc accidents and it is truly horrifying! There are some not so pleasant pictures at the following link, so don't click if you want to avoid such photographs. HERE is the link.


In other news, we've been mentioned all over the place. Here, here, here, here, here, here and here. All over town.